


My One and Only

by Purple_ducky00



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Gen, Good Bro Rhodey, Homophobia, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Tagged as major character death but I don't know if it should be minor, Underage sex and drinking mentioned but nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24026926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_ducky00/pseuds/Purple_ducky00
Summary: Tony and Bucky grow up together - until they're forced apart. Can they mend the chasm in the end?
Relationships: Ana Jarvis/Edwin Jarvis (background), James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov (background), Tony Stark & Janet Van Dyne
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	My One and Only

**Author's Note:**

  * For [msMynx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/msMynx/gifts).



“Momma, Bucky’s outside. Can I go play?” Four-year-old Tony vibrates in front of his mother, begging to be let outside. “Please Momma, please?”

“You must eat your breakfast first,” Maria Stark smiles indulgently. “Once you eat, you may go out.”

Tony squeals and digs into his oatmeal. Once done, he lets Ana Jarvis put on his coat, and he runs out screaming, “Bucky! Bucky!”

Maria smiles fondly after the young boy. She feels a shadow fall upon her. Looking up, she sees Howard’s hand on the back of her chair. “Do you think it’s a good idea for him to be playing with the help?”

“Howard, there are no other children his age around. He needs a friend,” Maria replies. Howard harrumphs, takes one last look outside, then turns on his heel, muttering about something.

++++++

“Bucky! Bucky! Bucky!” Tony runs outside. “I wanna play!”

Bucky looks up from the snow pile he is making. “Hi, Tony! Wanna build a castle?”

“A snow castle?” Tony giggles. “Bucky, you’re silly.” He scoops up some snow and piles it on top of Bucky's pile.

The boys spend an hour or so building and shaping a rough outline of a castle until Maria rings the bell for Tony to come in. “That’s my mom. Thanks for playing Bucky!” Tony squeezes Bucky’s hand.

“James!” Bucky's mother calls him from the servant house.

“Yea I have to go, too. Bye Tony!” Bucky calls after him.

Tony walks inside, and Jarvis takes off his coat, hat, and gloves. “Young Sir, your tutor is in the drawing room.” Jarvis reports.

“Thank you, J!” The boy runs into the drawing room. He loves when his tutor visits. “Mr. Abernathy!”

“Mister Anthony, good morning,” Mr. Abernathy greets him. “Are you ready for your lessons?”

Tony, as a four-year-old was already learning at a first-grade level, and he is working on a circuit board. His dad had given him supplies and a little bit of lab space. He’s almost done, and he’s excited. Maybe Dad will let him build more stuff if he does this well.

His lessons last for two hours, then Maria calls him to her parlor. “Tony, my dear, time for piano?”

“Yes, Momma. I would like to play.”

Between Maria, Jarvis, and Ana, Tony stays busy for the rest of the day. When he gets ready for bed, he realizes that he never got to finish playing with Bucky.

++++++

At age seven, Tony’s life has changed since we have last seen him. He has already been featured in magazines and articles as Howard Stark’s genius son, having built a circuit board at age four and an engine at age six. One article even speculated that Tony would grow up smarter and more successful than his father. This was around the time when Howard’s attitude towards him started to change.

Once allowed to join Howard in his lab at any time, Tony is now growled at any time he tries to step foot inside. When Maria confronts Howard, saying Tony has to be able to work, Howard concedes and builds Tony a lab of his own. Tony is happy at first, but he always wonders why his dad doesn’t want to see him.

Jarvis and Ana, while still around, have slowed down as they are getting older. They can’t keep up with Tony’s energy anymore. Unsure of what to do, Maria reaches out to Winifred Barnes, her cook. Winifred advises that her son, James, would be more than happy to play with Tony as they had used to. James goes to school on the weekdays and spends the weekends helping the gardener. Maria sets up a playdate immediately.

Tony enjoys spending time with Bucky. The older boy teaches him how to play baseball and football. They have catches in the backyard, and Bucky tells him about school. In turn, Tony shows Bucky the experiments on which he has been working.

“Can we be friends forever?” Tony asks him, one night that Bucky convinced him to sleep out under the stars.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know,” Tony confesses. “But you are my only friend, and everyone seems to not want me around as I get older. My dad doesn’t ever want to see me anymore, my mom tries to be around me but I know she doesn’t want to be, and I wear J and Ana out too quickly. I just don’t want you to get tired of me, too.”

Bucky takes Tony’s hand. “I will never get tired of you, Tony. We’ll be friends forever.” He slips a bracelet over Tony’s wrist. “I’m going to make another one for myself. These bracelets mean we’re friends.”

“Thank you, Bucky!” Tony hugs him. “I wish I could go to school with you.”

“Why don’t you ask? There are a lot of fun people there.”

“Momma says I can’t because I’m actually too young to be in the grade I’m supposed to be in. She said maybe when I get older.” Tony tells him.

Bucky tries to cheer him up. “Well, we can always hang out here. Want to catch some lightning bugs?”

“Bucky, they’re fireflies,” Tony giggles. He’s so happy to have a friend like Bucky.

The next morning, when Howard walks out back to his Rolls Royce from the garage, he sees the two young boys sleeping on a blanket, huddled up against each other. He shakes his head. He’s late for a meeting, but he will have a talk with Maria when he gets home. There is no way his son will grow up like that.

After Howard returns and has a long chat with Maria, she sets some ground rules for Bucky and Tony’s friendship. No more camping under the stars, the two must always stay within an adult’s view, and no excess physical contact. Bucky and Tony are confused, but they follow the rules.

++++++

Tony is eight when his dad ships him off to boarding school. Jarvis accompanies him on his flight and helps him settle in. Tony must learn very quickly how to take care of himself.

It is at this boarding school that Tony meets 11-year-old Tiberius Stone. That day would come back to haunt him many times over.

++++++

It’s at age twelve when Maria invites the van Dynes to their vacation home. Maria introduces Janet van Dyne to him and tells him she trusts that they will be fast friends. Janet is his age and a thin, spritely girl.

The two hit it off quickly, spending all week together. Jan tells him that her mother wants her to follow the van Dyne tradition of the women going into the fashion industry. She does love to dress up, but she loves science. Tony gets excited because science is his favorite school subject. He pulls her into his lab, and they spend the rest of the day running experiments.

Sitting around a bonfire that night, Tony tells her about Bucky. He tells her Bucky is his best friend, and they spend a lot of time together, but Bucky goes to public school, and he must go to a boarding school three states away. Jan tells him public school isn’t all it’s all cracked up to be, but her parents send her so that she has the best chance of getting into Yale. “Do you know what college you want to go to?” She asks him.

“No, I don’t even know what colleges to look for. Maybe I can go to Yale, too.”

Jan laughs. She does that often. “I would love that, but I think you should look into all your options. Maybe you’ll like a different one.” She lays her head on his shoulder.

Tony notices this is the first time Howard has looked at him approvingly since he was six. He’s finally doing something right.

When they get home from their vacation, Tony starts researching colleges. Jarvis asks if he might be a little young, but Tony tells him Janet already knows what she wants to do. Jarvis nods and leaves the boy to his research.

Tony invites Janet to stay with him for a week. He really wants her to meet Bucky, but he is at school and not due back until 4. Practically vibrating, Tony leads Jan on a tour of the mansion and the grounds. “And here is where we used to build snow castles. We used to have so much fun playing out here. Now we must stay near the house unless we have J or someone with us. I don’t know why.”

“He sounds super awesome. I would love to meet him. When will he be home?” Jan smiles brightly.

“No for another three hours,” Tony checks his watch and sulks. “That’s so far away.”

“Well… you didn’t show me your lab…” Jan tilts her head toward the house.

Tony takes her arm and leads her towards his very own lab, “I used to work with my dad in his, but I guess he wanted me to have my own. So here we are.”

“This is so awesome!” Jan’s eyes grow wide. “I can’t believe you have your own! My mom won’t let me have any of this stuff.”

“You can come over whenever you want to use mine. I’m here most of the day anyways.” The two work companionably until there is a knock on the door.

“Tony?” Bucky asks through the door. “Jarvis said you were probably in here.”

“That’s him!” Tony whispers, then raises his voice. “Come in!”

The door opens and Bucky walks in, taking in the scene in front of him. Tony is wearing a ratty tshirt, while Jan is wearing a lab coat to cover her fancy clothes.

“Hi Bucky! This is Jan – the one I was telling you about. Jan, this is my best friend Bucky. I wanted you two to meet.”

Bucky shakes Jan's hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. Do you guys wanna go back outside?”

The trio is practically inseparable for the rest of the week. When Jan leaves, Bucky asks Tony, “Is she your girlfriend?”

Tony looks at him quizzically, “What?”

“A girlfriend is like when you like a girl a whole lot, and you hold hands and stuff.”

“Well I don’t want to kiss her,” Tony replies. Honestly, he’d rather kiss Bucky.

++++++

Age fourteen is when Tony realizes that he finds boys very attractive. The first person he tells is Bucky, who accepts it easily. He tells Tony that he knows several people who like people of the same sex.

Tony next mentions it to his mother who gasps and says, “You must _never_ tell your father that. What about girls?”

“They’re pretty, I guess.”

“You must do your best to date and be with girls,” she cautions. “Being with boys like that will only cause you pain.”

“Why Momma?” Tony asks.

Maria sighs, “Most of the world hates those who love the same gender. Your father would probably disown you.”

Tony decides to stay quiet about his attraction to Bucky. No good would come of that.

++++++

Tony goes to MIT when he's fifteen. Once again, Jarvis flies with him. The old butler helps him settle into his dorm room. Once moved in, Tony settles on the couch with J. “I wish Bucky could be here.” To y admits.

“Well, young sir, he’s going to the University of Connecticut. He’s not too far away.”

“Jarvis?” Tony glances at him sideways.

“Yes, Tony?”

“Do you hate gay people?”

Jarvis puts his finger under Tony’s chin so that Tony would look at him, “Tony, I don’t hate anyone based on who they love. That’s not something we can choose. You must be careful with this information, however. There are some people who might want to kill you or blackmail you.”

“Why are people like that, J?” Tony tears up. “Why can’t we just be who we are?”

“The world is full of terrible people, Sir. You can only hope to rise above them.” Jarvis pulls Tony into a hug.

A cough makes them both look up. A young man is standing in the doorway, box in hand, “Sorry to interrupt, but I just need to make sure I have the right room. Are you Tony Stark?” When Tony nods, he continues, “I’m James Rhodes. I think we’re roommates.”

Even though Rhodes is three years older than him, the two hit off well. James becomes Rhodey, and Tony becomes Tones. Rhodey never judges him, even when Tony seems to go off the rails.

Tony dates his fair share of women, but he has a few secret boyfriends, just to see what it’s like. Rhodey dislikes each and every one of the people he dates because they are “taking advantage of a minor”. Tony doesn’t care – finally he has people who want to be with him.

Visiting Bucky at least once a month, Tony makes sure to catch him up on the latest news. He knows Bucky doesn’t care for any of his sexual exploits, but he likes to hear what Tony and Rhodey have been up to. The first time Bucky visited MIT, he thanked Rhodey for being there for Tony.

Tony builds three robots with a learning AI over the course of his college years. DUME, U and BUTTERFINGERS caused for plenty of laughs over the years. Rhodey thinks it’s amusing how Tony will insult the bots all day long, but as soon as someone else makes a comment about their flaws, he turns into a defensive mother bear.

Bucky’s roommate doesn’t like Tony at first. The young man thought Tony bought his friends and didn’t really care about anyone but himself. When Steve realized that Tony only had three friends and was doing his best trying to wade through life, the two became fast friends as well.

++++++

Jarvis dies from cancer when Tony is sixteen. Bucky returns with him for the funeral. Howard is not impressed, but Maria keeps him quiet. She reminds him that Bucky worked with Jarvis for many years.

After the rather small luncheon, Howard rails into Tony about his shortcomings and mistakes. Tony drinks.

As Tony falls asleep on the way back to MIT, he has a thought. He’s going to fashion the AI he’s been working on after J, British accent and all.

Tony’s parents die that fateful night in December of 1991. Tony is seventeen at the time. Uncle Obadiah is there for him, helping him through this time. He arranges the funeral and offers to keep Stark Industries up and running until Tony is ready to take over.

Tony throws himself into his schoolwork and partying, ignoring the pleas of Rhodey. He comes out as bisexual, not caring who knows. The whole time he wonders why he hasn’t heard from Bucky. One night, he tries to call his friend. Bucky picks up after the fifth call and says, “Listen, if you don’t want to talk to me, don’t call me. I don’t want to hear it.” And hangs up. Tony’s heart sinks as he realizes he pushed Bucky away over the past few months. He doesn’t try to call back after that.

++++++

Twenty years later, Tony is still very much alone. Jan and Rhodey have stuck by him, and his PA, one Pepper Potts, is fiercely loyal to his wellbeing as well. Finding out that Obadiah had been double-dealing under the table, Tony shuts down the weapons manufacturing division of SI, and focuses on clean energy.

Keeping up his playboy reputation, Tony dates both men and women regularly, but none of them have ever stuck. Jan and Rhodey know better than to bring up love to him, but Pepper’s girlfriend Natasha once asks him if he ever considered dating for real. Tony replies that he’d have to find someone he likes enough. She offers to set him up on a blind date with one of her friends. “His name’s James.” She tells him. Tony figures he has nothing to lose and agrees.

That is why, tonight, Tony is walking into an Italian restaurant, asking the maître d if James has arrived. The host leads him to a table in the corner where he finds… “Bucky?” Tony gasps.

“Tony?” Bucky sinks back into his seat. “Nat said your name was Tony… I just didn’t realize…”

Tony slumps. Of course, Bucky wouldn’t want him. “You can leave if you want to. I know you probably don’t want to see me.”

“I don’t mind as long as you don’t. We could catch up a bit,” Bucky replies.

The two order their drinks, and when the waiter leaves, Tony blurts, “Was I really that bad that you didn’t ever want to see me or talk to me again?” When Bucky looks confused, he rambles on, “I’m sorry. Now I’ve made it more awkward. Let’s just…”

“Tony,” Bucky stops him. “Why do you think I didn’t want to see you?”

“You told me, and I quote ‘Listen, if you don’t want to talk to me, don’t call me. I don’t want to hear it.’ Maybe I just don’t remember, but what did I do?”

Bucky shifts in his seat, “You sent your uncle to try to pay me off to leave you alone. You could’ve just told me yourself that you needed space and time or whatever it was that you wanted.”

“I don’t remember much from that time, but I know I would never have asked him to do that.” Tony shakes his head. “He must have lied to you as he did me for a long time.”

“So we just spent twenty years apart for no real reason?”

Tony shrugs, “Seems like it. Any chance you want to give it another try?”

“Of course I do. I missed you so much!” Bucky takes his hands.

“I missed you, too.”

The rest of the dinner was spent chatting and catching up, and the pair made their way back to Tony’s penthouse. Lying in bed, Tony asks Bucky, “Do you know you were the reason I knew I liked guys? You were my first and only love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
